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This Western Conference Final can be boiled down to a battle of hockey sense and pace of play, and through three games it doesn't appear to be much of a contest.

The Red Wings brass have assembled a collection of players that think the game at an accelerated level. The Red Wings coaching staff have pushed and prodded these smarty pants to do what they do at full speed.

They practice smart and with tempo, and they play how they practice.

The result is a very, very good Red Wing team.

The Stars have a good team. Its a team that gets its edge from tenacity. Its a team that relies heavily on its powerplay for offense. It is a team that needs its goalie to be the factor that tips the game in its favor.

Fast and bright is trumping hard and hermetic.

Thes Wings are harvesting the crop they sowed months ago.

The Stars are plowing water.

All is not lost however (Including the series…yet). This spring the Stars have exorcised some playoff demons by forcing their way into the Final Four, and with that comes the same injection of growth hormone that the Red Wings young players were shot-up with a year ago when they reached the Conference Final before bowing out at the hands of the eventual Cup winning Ducks.

The playoff experiences of 2008 will no doubt accelerate the development of the Stars young players -- players like Grossman, Niskanen, Fistric and Eriksson, and it will help boost the teams overall progression. After all, experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

What they don't want now is to be swept off their skates at AAC Wednesday.

The Angry End of Game 2

You may not know this but Mike Ribeiro was quite the ball player back in the day.

And “Ribs” was prompted to showcase his Jeter-like sweet swing in retaliation to goaltender Chris Osgood’s intentional semi-sharp stick near his eye.

Osgood buckled from the baseball style blow to his thickly padded, shock absorbing chest protector – miraculously regaining his motor skills a few moments after performing a re-enactment of Maximus Decimus Meridius' death in Gladiator. (James Lipton has asked him to be a guest on The Actor’s Studio to discuss this powerful performance).

Both are OK, just a little lighter in the money clip.

The Ott-Draper incident was playoff hockey from yesteryear.

“Otter” seems to harbor massive hatred for aging Red Wings. (And it just struck me, maybe the Stars have issues with Wings named “Chris”?- Weird eh.) His battles over the years with the Great Geriatric, Chris Chelios, have been vicious, entertaining and theatrical.

Perhaps he once got a bad bowl of chili.

The skateaway right hook to Kris Draper had its genesis in the faceoff a few seconds prior to the punch. Reports of a spear-like shot to the Stars forward’s ‘cash and prizes’ from Draper’s stick, a Captain Lou Albano leg lock, maybe a little eye gouging, and some other indignities came out of the wild hobo dust-up. Yes, guttural, Springer-like behavior to be sure – but you can’t help but watch can you?

Anyway, Ott will donate a little cash and he’ll be asked to harness/focus that hatred.

All involved will be on probation going forward.

Verbal violence after the whistles in Game 3 should be ramped up.

And - aren’t the playoffs just great!

What a thumping that was.

Men against boys.

Varsity schooling JV.

You saw it -- ugly.

If the Stars are going to play to the level the Red Wings were at in Game 1 they'll need to lower their mental cholesterol and ignite those fast twitch muscles that seemed dormant in the opener.

Believe is the playoff slogan and that's what they need -- belief. Belief that they can/will defeat that Red Machine here in Detroit. They can't win the series without popping them on their home ice. And they're now down to games 2,5, and 7 (potentially) to do so.

Sure the guys were a tad lymphatic from the Shark series' marathon finale but they were also sluggish between the ears and they played right into the Red Wings strengths - which are plentiful.

If Game 1 was purely a contest of hockey sense the Stars lost 10-0.

Going forward this really isn't about "working harder" or "skating harder", its about working smarter and skating with purpose.

So lets hope they purge the needless penalties, reform their penalty killing, recharge their energy reserves, and take their smart pills.

I suggest they all get a deep tissue massage, guzzle a crate of Red Bull, hammer back as much salmon as they can stomach (I read it's a smart food), and get a good nights sleep in preparation for the most important game of their season.

Fabian Brunnstrom

There were 51 players of Swedish heritage playing in the NHL this season, and, led by Detroit captain Nik Lidstrom, 24% of them will be chasing the puck when the Stars-Wings series opens tonight at The Joe in Detroit. (And one coach -- Ulf Dahlen -- who loves peanut M&Ms and is a laugh riot in his native tongue)

On top of that, these same two teams were reported to be in the final three clubs Fabian Brunnstrom was considering signing with. (Who is Fabian Brunnstrom? Stay tuned. He's good) And now comes breaking news that the Brunnster has in fact agreed in principle to come to the Dallas Swedes.

Meatballs for everyone!

So, with this being such a Three Crowns intensive Conference Final, and with the report of the free agent sweepstakes victory, perhaps it would be best if the Stars sponsored watching parties scheduled for AT&T Plaza get moved to Ikea's parking lot in Frisco.

Word has reached Razorland that a silly lexicological superlative I uttered during a game has "grown legs".
It's a jumbotron song.
It's a ringtone. (Thanks to Jeff K)
It's soon to be a t-shirt.
In a nutshell -- it's a marketing bonanza. (And for Marty -- a way of life)
Anyhoo, I give you "Turcolicious":

Turcolicious (To the beat of "Fergilicious")
by Raz I Am

Four, tres, two, uno
Listen up y'all, cause this is it
The beat that I'm bangin' is delicious.

Turcolicious definition make them shooters loco
They want some treasure so they seek their pleasures from my little five-hole.
You could see me, you can't beat me
I ain't easy, I ain't breezy
I got reasons why I tease em
Shooters just come and go like seasons

Turcolicious (so delicious)
But I ain't pernicious
And even if you was lubricious
All that open net's fictitious
I force misses (mmmwwahhh)
That gets them scribes to talk, talk
And they be lining down the press box just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (it's hot, hot)
So delicious (I get them wags to talk, talk)
So delicious (them other targets wanna taste of what I got)
I'm Turcolicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)

Turcolicious def-
Turcolicious def-
Turcolicious def-
Turcolicious definition make them shooters crazy
They always claim they'll beat me
Comin in to test me Marty (Hey, Marty)
I'm the T to the U, R, C, the O, O
And can't no other goalie post a more stylish zero.

I'm Turcolicious (so larcenicious)
In OT my body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness
JJ's my witness (ooh eee)
I get yo' boys to talk, talk
And fans be lining down the block just to watch what I got. (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (he's hot, hot)
So delicious (I meet them wags and talk, talk)
So delicious (them targets wanna taste of what I got)
Turcolicious (hold, hold, hold, hold, hold up, check it out)

Maybe, maybe, maybe
If you really want to beat me
Homey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get some space
But I'll be hasty, hasty
I'll be zest with zesty
I'm so tasty, tasty
I'll make you crazy

T to the A, to the S T E Y --man, you're tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y -- man, you're tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E, to the, stop it Marty

All the time I melt it down the brothas gather round always poking up and down lookin' for my vulcan rubber (uuhh)
I just wanna say it now -- I ain't tryin to spark the drama, little pushin', little shovin'
And I know I'm coming off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how my boys are gonna make them eat it.
But I'm trying to simply tell, that I can't be beaten like the other masked clientele
'Cause they say he...

Turcolicious (so delicious)
But I ain't pernicious
And even if you was lubricious
All that open net's fictitious
I force misses (mmmwwahhh)
That gets them scribes to talk, talk
And they be lining down the press box just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

I'm Turcolicious (my glove's delicious)
In OT my body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness
JJ's my witness (ooh eee)
I get yo' boys to talk, talk
And fans be lining down the block just to watch what I got. (four, tres, two, uno)

So larcenicious
So larcenicious
So larcenicious
I'm Turcolicious
I'm so meracious
So larcenicious
So larcenicious

I'm Turcolicious