SOCCER SISSIES

I have stumbled upon something more pathetic than U.S. Men's Hockey.

U.S. Men's Soccer

I've watched quite a bit of the World Cup since it's like screensaver on the TVs where I workout, and thus I feel confident piping off about them.

Ghana?

You can't beat Ghana?

But beyond the losses and ties, how do they even refer to it as "Men's" soccer, what with all the shin grabbing, pitch writhing, and phony baloney injuries.

I had ballsier players on the 5 and under girls team I coached.

The Mia Hamm women's team had piles more sack than this bunch.

Oh I know other countries have just as many sissies seemingly at life's last breath due to a shoe in the shank but you'd think the American's would keep their skirts from blowing up just a little more than the rest of them.

How many months till hockey season?

Editor's note: The Canada men's national soccer team has experienced little international success. In its first and only World Cup appearance to date in 1986, the team failed to score a goal and finished last.