THE EYES HAVE IT

I can't get Lasik -- my eyes, they ain't sick.

Sounds like the opening refrain from a blues song doesn't it? - Well it isn't. (But maybe it should be...)

No, that opening line was the great/ saddening news I received yesterday after having my peepers checked out by Dr. Tylock.

I went to see the king of laser eye surgery in search of a fix for the disturbing vision failure that has been gradually rearing its head. You see, in the last couple years I have noticed that those sports pages and ads that get placed above urinals are getting harder and harder to read. I find myself either leaning back like William F. Buckley (And in doing so, appearing to be trying to take a peak next door. Yikes!) or, actually stepping back, and running the risk of golden spraying the neighbors like an unattended garden hose at full pressure. (Ya, not pretty)

So back to the trip to Tylock, great people there, I went through the screening process and at its conclusion was told two things; (One good, one- not so eargasmic.)

The good - I have raptor-like vision and eyes that are healthy as a kitten.

The bad -- I have joined the age group that requires (gulp) READERS.
READERS!!!!

And you know what that means, DEPENDS adult diapers are right around the corner.

They say that age is just a number...

Hooey! Poppycock!

That enlightened baby boomer crap loses its impact when you have to stop by the old-fart eyeglass carousel at your local CVS...

Anyway, in summation -- if you have trouble seeing things from distance pay a visit to Dr. Tylock, he can clear things up for you. However, if your issue is like mine, a little closer to home...see you in the READERS isle. Meantime, I'll be out buying a corvette and getting my hair permed as a defiant little personal war against this mid-life passage into READERdom.