MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBA...ER, GOALIE

Here’s some week 1 (or weak ones) observations from the Razorboy.

Chance that Dallas goaltenders carry a 3.33 gaa all season – Nil
Chance that opposing goaltenders allow 4.33 goals per game this season vs Stars – Next to nil

Average time in seconds between Stars first fight of the game and Brad Winchester’s gloves hitting the ice for a 2nd one - 6.73
Average time it takes Steve Ott to collect linemate’s gloves and sticks following a “shift” – 29 very mouthy seconds

Points from Stars centermen named Mike – One
Name of centers a lot of people seem eager to point to when explaining Stars 1-2 start - Mike

Items they forgot to pack for Nashville – Red neck repellent, Legwand deterrent, some semblance of a powerplay
Item which they broke the seal open for Nashville – Krys Barch’s interchangeable Palmolive- soft and “this ones for Robidas” sledgehammer-hard hands

Matt Niskanen’s ability to play at this level right away – Good
Antti Miettinen’s ability to convert scoring chances into goals at this level, ever – Not so good

Early example that the Preds are in trouble off the ice – At 4 o’clock on a Saturday with the Stars in town and a lot of baggage between the teams yet to be dealt with, tickets were reduced to half price in order to get “some” people in the building.
Early example that the Preds might be trouble for opponents on the ice – two games played, two wins, total goal differential in those wins vs Coloradao and Dallas, 9-1

All-time Bruin I’d most like to see in a Stars uniform – Cam Neely
Current Bruin I’d most like to see in a Stars uniform – Cam Neely

Most memorable from Stars 4-3 loss in Denver – Paul Stastny’s hat trick
Most forgettable from Stars 4-3 loss in Denver – Zubov, Daley and Turco’s roles in Paul Stastny’s hat trick

2007-08 ratio of Dallas Stars Ice Girls to Stars hockey players – 6 to 1
2007-08 ratio of Detroit Red Wing fans to seats at Joe Louis Arena – 1 to 6

Best new rule augmentation this season – All face-offs to take place on the 9 red dots painted on the ice.
Origin of this epiphany – NHL suit’s sudden discovery and love of all things Target store. (and of course, Super Target)

#1 question that has arisen – Where is Chris Conner?
#1 way to ask the question, “Where is Chris Conner?” – In a thick Austrian accent, wearing Terminator shades and a big black leather jacket. (It’s also fun to say, “I’ll be back” right after getting the answer to that aforementioned question.)

Prediction for the upcoming week 2 – I no longer make predictions because in past it has only gone to prove that I am TELEPATHETIC.

Desire for week 2 – Entertaining victories.