WHAT I LEARNED IN 2007

That...a man's dog should be no smaller than a briefcase.

That Family Guy is as funny as Dot Com said it was.

That I coin the best nicknames.

That Chris Simon has a temper.

That Mike Keenan no longer does?

That a .500 record isn't what it used to be, and doesn't ensure job security.

That Hannah Montana is Miley Cyrus.

That All-Star games suck -- but not as much as Young-Stars games.

That the Stars could use a mascot.

That buying a Wii is better than paying a nanny.

That Mike Modano is the greatest American -- not Lincoln

That apple is a nice addition to smores.

That Super Bad is on my list of funniest movies…ever.

That shooting carp with a speargun can make you feel very Hemmingway-esque.

That 'centergistic' is my favorite word of 2007 (next to f#@*), and 'silica based environmental interface' is my most unnecessary phrase.

That New Jersey's new arena has taken the art of sticking it to the broadcasters to a whole new level -- or should I say, height.

That Game 7 is more fun at Reunion Arena than G.M. Place.

That this Turco guy can excel in the pressured atmosphere of the S. Cup playoffs.

That candied salmon is better than prairie oysters.

That you have to be Canadian to get Trailer Park Boys.

That Kiehl's soap products are the only way to keep a dirty boy like me clean.

That its easier to nail jelly to a tree than to hit Mike Ribeiro when he has the puck.

That Starbucks could ask for "favors" from most patrons in exchange for their daily cup of caffeine and they'd joyfully oblige. (How else do you explain those lines at those prices)

That tea bags aren't always what you think they are.

That Premiere League soccer announcers are the bees knees. Quality there, packed full of it.

That Tom Holy Tivos The View.

That divisional games don't make for divisional rivalries.

That being shown dancing on the gigundo screens at AAC is about as good as it gets for 6 and 8 year old girls.

That having your daughters grow up to dance on a stage that houses a brass pole probably means failure in the parenting department.

That ice conditions in the NHL never improve.

That the best planned broadcast can get undermined by a bad TV truck -- or a disinterested call.

That a good drink, I mean a good one, can help you let go of a bad day.

That Oprah is evil.

That all warranties are BS

That missing every putt attempted into, or across your own shadow, and missed, is known as the Peter Pan effect.

That I cook the best beef tenderloin on earth, bar none, end of discussion.

That Apple, maker of the imac, iphone and ipod, has nothing to do with the iditarod?

That androgenic alopecia is inevitable for some, despite what propecia, rogaine, and the Bosley Institute claim, so take it like a man.

That the cranial prosthesis isn't for everyone.

That I'm more handsome on TV, and taller in person.

That Tumi is the only choice in luggage, and rolling baggage saves lives.

That family meals at the Reaugh household are funnier than Zach and Cody, but still not quite as funny as Chappelle Show -- yet, oddly, contain a lot of the same humor.

That going to bed at 9:30 is so much better than sleeping till 11.

That my wife is gold. (that was a 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, etc. lesson as well)

That I am now an unabashed hotel snot. (No chocolates, no robe -- no stay)

That beer commercials are by far the most imaginative on television.

That the male moustache is making a comeback. (The female version is always in vogue)

And, That success is merely the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.