S. CUP NUGGETS

The 2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs are a week old. Time to take stock.

Montreal-Boston -- Carey "Patrick, Ken, Jacque, George" Price is the real deal...Gainey, Carbo and company know how to win...Claude Julien's head looks like it's going to explode due to all the penalties...and the Habs always beat the Bs in the postseason.

Pittsburgh-Ottawa -- By the time you read this the series will already be over and the Pens will be moving on...How is Darryl Sydor not in the lineup?...The Senators pregame "show" prior to Game 3, with a melodramatic, overacting, oiled up, Roman soldier in full regalia, was easily the gayest thing I've ever witnessed in the Stanley Cup Playoffs...Coaches and G.M's submit your resume' to Canada's capital's team, pronto.

Washington-Philadelphia -- Hatcher is playing?! (Can you believe that) He has knees that have more scar tissue than healthy bio- tissue...The sea of red at Caps home games looks phenomenal and rivals Calgary's...Scotty Upshall is a dill-weed, and I mean that as a complement...The White House has mostly ignored the Capitals amazing surge into the post season, something about the Pope visiting. Just bring him to a game. God's gift to hockey wears #8...Oh, and Briere still looks like a young Paul McCartney -- long before the blood sucking, gold-digging bee-otch arrived on the scene.

NY Rangers-New Jersey -- Sean Avery is a revolting, self-absorbed, side-show puke...Jamie Langenbrunner isn't, and I still only see him as a Dallas Star.

Detroit-Nashville -- Can the 3rd string guy on the Stars goaltending depth chart really outshine The Dominator? Dan Ellis thinks so...What slimy creature cleans up easiest after being tossed on the ice, Octopus or Catfish? (And who sneaks it through security?)...If #8 Nashville beats #1 ranked Detroit a lot of teams will try to "fall off the salary cap floor" in the future.

San Jose-Calgary -- A safe bet would be the losing coach not returning next season...Who got hurt more by the games in Cowtown -- The Sharks who blew a 3-0 lead three minutes into Game 3, or the Flames who gave up a game winning goal with 7 seconds to go in Game 4?...Sharks P.R. mustn't have international e-mail capability -- I haven't received the usual barrage of panglosian "Shark Bytes" in some time now.

Minnesota-Colorado -- These two are the only teams in the playoffs who realize you can play more than 60 minutes...Must be real sunny in Minny and the Mile High City judging by Jacques Lemaire's tan...Ryan Smyth is playing great in the playoffs and Marion Gaborik isn't? Really!?

Dallas-Anaheim -- A wicked powerplay can do a lot of damage...Three of the last four Stanley Cup MVPs are playing in the series, and no, Brad "Mayday" May is not one of them (Neither is Pronger)...Home ice is no advantage...The Stars franchise needs this series a lot more than the Duckies.