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SERIES (SPECIES) IDENTIFICATION
Sharks, the ocean's perfect predator -- at least that's what the deep voice on Animal Planet boomed.
Black Tips.
Bull.
Hammer Heads.
Tiger.
Reef.
Great Whites.
There are all sorts of shark species, yet all of them share a common bond. They scare the board shorts off of most humans.
The skating sharks from San Jose create fear in many Stars fans too, thanks in large part to that 18-2-2 finish to the regular season. (You could say they closed on the Red Wings like a Mako after a Marlin.)
But enough of the pathetic metaphors, just who are these Sharks the Stars are about to tangle with?
Curtis Brown |
Sucked on a S.Cup loss to Stars in '99 while with Sabres |
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| Jonathan Cheechoo |
Greatest goal scorer ever to come out of Moose Factory |
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| Ryan Clowe |
Missed a lot of the season with knee injury. He's Ott and Morrow-ish |
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| Marcel Goc |
Fourth line flatliner |
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| Mike Grier |
PK, checking line staple. Likes to hunt Zubovs. |
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| Patrick Marleau |
Big, fast, talented, but also tends to play like his adrenal glands were soaked in Novocain. |
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| Milan Michalek |
Should be fresh. Top regular season goal scorer somehow took Round One off despite dressing for all 7 games. |
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| Torrey Mitchell |
Plays a checking role. Accused of being a dirty d-man shover. |
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| Joe Pavelski |
Possesses a scorers set of hands and a weak, red playoff beard |
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| Thomas Plihal |
Czech – which means he probably won’t do anything in playoffs |
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| Patrick Rissmiller |
Checking line and PK work. Has like 7 brothers and sisters so tickets may be an issue |
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| Jeremy Roenick |
J.R. dazzled in Game 7. Where’s Hatcher when you need him? |
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| Devin Setoguchi |
Sniper! He scares me. |
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| Jody Shelley |
Menacingly tough. He scares me too. |
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| Joe Thornton |
Insanely talented. He should scare you also. Steve Ott will attempt to make sandwiches in his kitchen. |
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| Brian Campbell |
Deadline defenseman acquisition. He can create scoring chances…for both teams. |
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| Matt Carle |
No longer Hot Carle |
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| Christian Ehrhoff |
Shoots puck hard enough to go through the end of rink and repeatedly tries to do so due to accuracy issues. |
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| Kyle McLaren |
Heavy Hitter. |
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| Douglas Murray |
Gargantuan Swede with the guy next door name has the footspeed of an armoire. |
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| Sandis Ozolinsh |
See Campbell, but with less positive and more negative. |
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| Craig Rivet |
Ott hater. Logs minutes in all key situations. |
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| Alex Semenov |
If he dresses Stars win. |
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| Marc-Edouard Vlasic |
Yes, he is in fact the French heir to a pickle empire. |
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| Brian Boucher |
Veteran backup goalie. No relation to Phillipe. |
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| Evgeni Nabokov |
Durable Vezina finalist. Posterized by Modano. Key to a Sharks victory. |
Posted on April 24, 2008 10:54 AM Email Razor
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