GOOD COP, BAD COP

So the Stars have bumbled their way to an 0-2 record out of the blocks this season. Oh, excuse me, an 0-1-1 mark. (Sure feels like 0-2) This would be less concerning had they not slogged and sputtered through a 1-5-1 record in the preseason. (And if you want to really be cynical, consider the fact that they are 3-10-2 since that quadruple overtime victory against San Jose)

So what would Razor do to snap them out of their little funk?

I don't have the foggiest - that's why I broadcast. But I've created a pretend think tank and we've broken the solution into two philosophies:

Good Cop nurturing.

And

Bad Cop fanny kicking.

Good Cop wants to let them work through this, allow the leaders to grab ahold of the group and demand more.

Bad Cop wants to spark a flame thrower and singe some fuzzy arse hairs.

Good Cop thinks it'll take time for the new players to feel comfortable in their roles and to earn their new teammates trust.

Bad Cop wants to shorten the assimilation process through high-volume earfood and immediate accountability.

Good Cop thinks they may be tired from camp and a shortish off-season so he is contemplating day(s) off in order to stockpile energy.

Bad Cop believes they need to be reminded what work is and plans to skate them into submission. If they won't show a work-ethic in games he'll show them what it is in practice.

Good Cop worries that the make-up of the team may be the root of the problem and that it'll be much more sunny once the injured veterans return.

Bad Cop says give me 20 warm, willing bodies and I'll beat them into a winning machine.

Good Cop protects the individuals who have sucked when the media pumps him for culprits.

Bad Cop names names and writes the scribes story for them.

Good Cop has the players form a conga line to his office where he commences hush toned individual meetings in order to connect and gather feedback.

Bad Cop blisters the group with a profanity laced tirade that has some shaking. He focuses much of it on his top players.

Good Cop forms a 15 person 'Leadership Group'.

Bad Cop speaks only to his captain and expects him to be the sole and honest conduit.

Good Cop continues to play individuals who make costly errors or exhibit selfish behavior with the hope that they will 'play themselves out of it'

Bad Cop administers some hemmeroid-inducing bench time for those who don't play his way, then puts them in street clothes if they fail to get the message.

Good Cop shows the patience of a pre-K teacher during practices. He feels they know when they screwed up and thus don't need to have it pointed out by him.

Bad Cop stops every drill and restarts them if they are not being performed to his specifications. Perfection is demanded. Eyes are rolled.

Good Cop has his players affection. They want to do well for him.

Bad Cop has a mix of their fear, hatred and respect. They want to do well for each other.

Like Christopher Walken's character pointed out in 'Wedding Crashers' - It's nurture vs nature.

Lock it up Stars!