THE OLD ONION BAG

Hi, Nostalgia Razor here. Here to suggest the NHL reconsider the goal nets they currently utilize in the great frozen game.

Simmer down goalies, I’m not pushing for larger dimensions. What I want is a return to the less taut, more cascading netting of yesteryear. A return to that once upon a time when goals were accentuated by the billowing of diamond shaped nylon as the vulcanized rubber disk sailed agonizingly past the guardian of the twine, and dramatically popped the netting from its lifeless, drape-like state. (I tried to catch the flavor of the memory)

Nowadays, like most things in society, we want it over with as soon as possible so we can move on to the next “moment”, so they’ve created a scenario where the puck trampolines out of the net like a tennis ball off a racket.

Some players actually prefer this type of tight springboard. Krys Barch said a lot of guys feel herculean when they spank a puck into an upper corner and the entire frame of the net actually moves – like the recoil in a large caliber rifle. (Sadly they may be the only ones impressed with this feat of strength and technology)

Of course the reason for the change in how the nets are tied has its origin in the league wanting less stoppages, more continuous play. (ie Get on to the next “event”). What was happening a few times a game was the puck would flip onto the back of the net and nest there, forcing a face-off. By taking the slack out of the netting pucks could no longer come to rest on it, instead the net would act more like an eaves-trough leaf cover. Ta-da! More continuous play around the net and less enhancement to the art of scoring a goal – My NHL?

The league endorses this.

The players that need a confidence boost for their shooting prowess endorse it.

And goalies must be onboard too, for they seldom have to suffer the indignity that their predecessors endured when they routinely had to scoop out pucks that had nestled in their net for all to see.

But the fan and the broadcaster? That pairing is getting hosed by the glazing over of goal scoring - the trivialization of the tally.

Watch a soccer game or a lacrosse match – any sport that features a net as a target and you’ll find that when a goal is scored; the netting billows, the broadcaster bellows and the fans in the cheap seats immediately rejoice.

So hockey net committee (if there is such a thing), stop stringing your goals as tight as an Orange County divorcee’s face and revert back to the ethereal romance of goal scoring. You’ll be glad you did – and so will those record setting crowds and viewers you keep trumpeting about.