BAD COSMETICS

When do the warts and pimples become too hard to look past?

I'll tell you when. When your powerplay is ranked 25th, your penalty killing is also 25th out of 30 teams, your goals-against is 23rd, your goalie's save percentage is 29th, and your man games lost to injury is about to cross the 300 threshold.

Not even Tony Romo's girlfriend could "Proactiv" this half-chewed caramel of a complexion.

The stunning fact is that the Stars are still in the hunt for a place at the post-season table. According to the afore mentioned stats they shouldn't be.

Things are so ugly right now they'd have to sneak up on a glass of water. (I don't even know what that means)

Oh well, this is a playoff race - not America's Next Top Model.

Have to go, they need me in makeup. (Haha)

Hey maybe I'll dust the Stars with a little Mac NW25 just to get them through tonight's two-step with the Flames at the Saddledome. You know, make them good from far but far from nice!

Too-da-loo!!!!