GIVE 'EM THE MONEY AND NO ONE GETS HURT

In this time of economic uncertainty the NHL’s “cost certainty” has again lavished millions on players whose contracts ran out at the right time.

On day one of 2009 free agency the 30 team’s spent around $450,000,000.

That’s $450 million in case you got confused by the zeros.

Recession?! What recession?

For the record the Stars signed no one on day one. Instead, Joe and co. waited and landed a quality defending d-man and shot blocking aficionado in Karlis Skrastins. (Stars fans, think of him as a Czech – Ludwig with an awkward name to pronounce.)

The other 29 G.M.s were all over the map.

Here’s my early run-down:

ANA – retained aging superstars Selanne and Scott Niedermayer

ATL – seem to be enamored with Leaf cast-offs

BOS – made Mark Recchi the new Chelios

BUF – again, trying to fall to the floor…and continue to bitch about ’99

CGY – Darryl Sutter apparently likes to play two or three players under the limit due to Cap errors, and, contrary to history, he seems to believe you can buy a Cup. Jay Bouwmeester was a nice add though.

CAR – They weren’t deep enough offensively last year and their defense is underwhelming, so they just resign those same guys. They have a great young goalie though.

CHI – the Hawks keep spending big (12 years, $62M for Hossa). How’d that Campbell signing work out last year? Now there are rumors that they didn’t make legal qualifying offers to their own guys. Exciting young team and the fever is back in the Windy City but the good times might be short lived, and that shouldn’t be.

COL – They purged their hockey department and then jettisoned Ryan Smythe’s bloated contract to LA. They are rebuilding and aren’t about to do it through free agency.

CLB – They signed a backup goalie and got Nash under contract long term.

DET – Best management team in hockey doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to sign big money guys. Maybe others should take notes.

EDM – Wanted Dany Heatley but Dany Heatley didn’t want them. If your name is Penner or Cogliano you can put your house in the Alberta capital on the market. Khabibulin for Roloson is an upgrade.

FLA – Jordan “the purse swinger” Leopold for Jay Bouwmeester should really invigorate the sparse fan base in South Floria.

LA – The Kings look to be in process of taking the next step in their rebuild…again.

MIN – New GM, new coach…no Gaborik…hmmm

MTL – If 5-9 is the new 6-4 then Bob Gainey had a great week. The Habs threw a ton of money at diminutive free agents. Maybe he’ll bring Yvan Cournyier out of retirement.

NSH – They usually only lose free agents, not sign them.

NJ – Their coach defected to Calgary and a few core guys left for greener bank accounts.

NYI – They picked first overall and took Tavares, that’s their free agent. Oh, and they signed a goalie (Dwayne Roloson) just incase brittle DiPietro plays out his contract. It’s set to expire in just over twelve years.

NYR – The Rangers lavished a top dollar, long term contract on oft-infirmed winger Marion Gaborik. The Blueshirts never learn.

OTT – Tough to figure who they hate more the Leafs or Heatley

PHI – They continue to pursue the 1975 Stanley Cup (or at least the 1987 S. Cup Final berth). Signed wacko netminder Ray Emery fresh off a one year exile in Russia. Ronnie Hextall where are you?

PHO – The LimboYotes are prepping for the season as usual but things aren’t business as usual in the desert. They landed a backup goalie and League ownership so far.

PIT – They keep celebrating - and keep losing defensemen.

SJ – Seem to be letting the dust settle this year.

STL – Got a quality backup goalie in Ty Conklin

TB – A most puzzling management team continues to boggle many minds. They got a stud d-man at the draft in Hedman then overpaid (and over-termed) for another Swede defenseman in veteran Mattias Ohlund to hold his hand.

TOR – Most expect the team to officially re-brand itself “The Toronto Maple Burkes”. I’ll waste no more time on the Burkie Buds.

VAN – Kept the Sedin twins to the tune of $12M a year and if they re-up Luongo they’ll have close to half their Cap wrapped up in 3 players. Can’t wait to see how that works out for them.

WSH – Lost some Russians. Unfortunately for them none of the players were named Semin. Fortunately for them none of the departed wore #8)