MARK FISTRIC'S FEBRUARY GUIDE TO THINGS TO BEAT YOUR OPPONENT WITH WHEN YOU HIT HIM CLEAN AND HE COMES LOOKING FOR SOME

1. His own helmet
   
   
2. Your helmet
   
   
3. A cd box set of the group Helmet’s music
   
   
4. A pillow case filled with cans of Progresso soup
   
   
5. If it’s a spectator, his own shoe (this is called The Milbury Maneuver)
   
   
6. A 5-Knuckle Meat Soother
   
   
7. A plastic ice bag filled with bars of soap
   
   
8. That rope knot pain inducer thingy used on 007’s marbles in Casino Royal
   
   
9. A sack of his own feces
   
   
10. Your dad Boris